I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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