dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
