I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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