YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
