Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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