Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
