I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
