Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
