She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
