let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
