but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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