the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I cannot find my penis.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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