i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
