If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Semen is not good for contacts.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
