You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
