Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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