Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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