brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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