We named our party play list daddy issues
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
