I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
