We are two peas in an std pod
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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