he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
