So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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