my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So much Jack, so little girl.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
