I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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