I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
