I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
