My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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