HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
