I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
