woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
