3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
