we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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