The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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