Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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