Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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