sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
