he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
