i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
