idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You dont lie about slip and slides
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
