I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
