come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You made out with two different species that night
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
