I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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