My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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