We named our party play list daddy issues
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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