Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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