:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
