OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
