She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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