Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
