I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
