did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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