im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
