He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
