I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
im six kinds of drunk right now
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
